Friday, 18 July 2008

A week in christianity and a heavy metal monk.

This week the Anglican church faced collapse. Well, going to Lambeth might just do that do you.

World Youth Day (WYD) or Cahtolic woodstock as its dubbed almost squashed free speech in Austrlia.

Then 50 pilgrims were struck down with the flu. What was that about Catholic retribution and divine intervention again?

Anyway, in a week when all that happened, this blog was relieved to stumble over this during some hardcore googling.

Isn't he adorable? If he wants to give a sermon at church you can bet this blog would be front row and centre, head banging until we saw God.

Friday, 11 July 2008

Too little too late

The UN has agreed, in principle (whatever the hell that means) to se up a pannel to investigate the assination of Benazir Bhutto

The former Pakistani PM was assinated in December 2007. Yep, before Austrian cellar creep before the Mark Ronson funk zeitgiest and before Zimbabwe got worse

This is the best they can do? 7 months later they think about setting up a committee?

It's the lamest idea this blog has heard since Monday when Gordon Brown told us to stop wasting food. (so he wants us to eat more? Won't this increase the obeisty rate?)

The UN, once a really good idea, has proved itself to be useless when anything serious needs doing.

How are we supposed to have a global economy if we don't have a global defence against corruption and violence run amock?

Polygamy chic

Remember the yearning for Zion polygamy sect? Google it.

Thanks to the wonders of the internet, and Hadley Freeman in the G2 (the woman's a goddess) you too can dress like a fundamentalist.

Less risque than a niqab or free Palestine scarf, chances are it'll be mistaken for a maxi dress.

Accessorise with a tongue placed firmly in your cheek.

David, a Davis and more media coverage.

David Davis has won his by-election campaign. He was up against a beauty queen, a raving loon, and Mad-Cow Gird, from the official monster raving loony party.

While this blog is staunchly liberal and allergic to Tories, we did support Mr Davis in his campaign.

And we still do. What he did was admirable and ballsy.

With criticism of the 42 day extension growing louder by the minute, why there was not more media coverage?

Maybe, deep down, no one wants to admit the Toris are capable of acts of defiant liberalism. This blog knows it doesn't.

But there you go, Mr Davis pulled it off and David Cameron will reap the rewards.

Here was the perfect chance for media scrutiny of a medieval law to go into overdrive. But it didn't.

There weren't any licences up for renewal by any chance?

Thursday, 10 July 2008

Another religious controversy for Obama.

Barack Obama has been criticised by the influential civil rights activist, reverand Jesse Jackson for "talking down" to African-Americans.

Rev. Jackson made the rookie mistake of leaving his Fox News (of all networks...why God? Why?) microphone switched on while ranting about Obama.

After saying he "wanted to cut his (Obama's) nuts off" he complained about how Obama had blaimed African-American men for the break down in family life among Black US communities, and not the government.

Obama was going to have to cross the bridge some time; he just isn't radical enough for the grassroots members of the civil rights movement.

It seems America is so divided Presidential candidates have to make a choice; either build grassroots support within the Caucasion community, thus isolating yourself from the African-American community, or visa versa.

Obama seemed to be doing so well at crossing that divide. But, much like Hilary Clinton with feminist grassroots campaigners, Obama will never be seen as radical enough by those who fought for the equality he has come to represent.

This blog is worried; does this mean McCain will win? We're not American, but considering the UK gets dragged into every war they have started post 1945, we would like to say: we need a rest.

No surprises from Zimbabwe.

Zimbabwe has branded the planned UN sanctions against them "colonial and racist."

This blog wants to see a legal vote of who's not surprised. Everyone?

South Africa is in emergency talks with the UN. Shouldn't they be in emergency military intervention with Zimbabwe?

Anyway, Mugabe will have his assets frozen, which is odd because Switzerland is usually quite warm this time of year.

There will aslo be an arms embargo on Zimbabwe, as well as Mugabe and 13 of his croanies having their right to travel revoked.

Isn't this all too little too late? This blog was under the assumption sanctions were already in place against Zimbabwe. How else can you explain a 2 million% inflation rate?

While this blog fully supports the sanctions, we do hope the UN will do something to help the innocent Zimbabwean's stuck inside the country.

Just because their President is a tyrant doesn't mean they are.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Mind your PMQ's.

William Hague vs. Harriet Harman proved to be a highly entertaining showdown. Gordon Brown should leave the country more often.

In the blue corner; former party leader and true blue, William Hague.

He's bald, he's been working with the Tories since he was 14 and his rhetorical wit is unparralled.

In the red corner; the longest serving female MP and followed by rumours of a leadership coup, its Harriet Harman.

Feminist, MP for Peckham and looks a little bit like a pissed off pigeon.

The scene is set as two of Britian's longest standing politicos prepare to do battle.

She backed up Gordon, calling him a man of "true grit and determination". He slagged off Gordon (who hasn't?) taking the piss out of his call for the British people to "stop wasting food". Hague claimed Mr Brown was "passed his sell by date."

She tried to quash rumours of a leadership coup. He tried to stir them up.

She implied he had once drunk too much (18 pints a day). He lapped it up claiming, "none of it was wasted."

All in all it was a good fight. Not really sure if any questions were answered but since this has been an incredibly slow news week, proved an interesting distraction.

There's no way you would have got such a good fight between John Prescott and...and...whoever would have been deputy leader under Michael Howard. (intensive goolging produced nothing. Sorry.)

Indeed, this blog would ask commenters to take note of this well phrased, well time and generally amusing bout. This is how insults and insights are done, Brenden. Telling this blog to get a life (What is wrong with the one we've got? There's politics, current affairs and interest in the world at large. Would you rather this blog was ignorant?) and then calling us "a stupid f***ot is not an insult. Its an over used, under imagined cliche.

Where's Louise? She had the decency to ask questions and enter into a debate.

Zimbabwe may get off scot free

Russia, a permant member of the UN security counicl, is threatening to veto the sanctions proposed against Zimbabwe.

Why? Why would you do this? It's not like Russia has a stake in Zimbabwe.

This blog could understand if China was pissed but even they voted for the sanctions.

They are another permant member of the security council and can still veto, mind.

Several African leaders have opposed the sanctions. Mind you, they didn't jump to bollock Mugabe at the AU either.

So it seems like the UN may be the only international body able to take any action against Zimbabwe's "democracy".

While no one from the Russia camp has made an official statement, they may well be moving to push Zimbabwe into a government of national unity.

Hmmmm....compromising with Mugabe? The man who has made it very clear he does nothing of the sought?

True, the country is not a threat to international security. However, if the people of Zimbabwe can't take a stand, and the West can't afford liberal intervention, then isn't that where the UN is meant to step in?

Zimbabwe may not be a threat to the international community, but as long as it remains a threat to itself, there should be reason enough to help.

Tuesday, 8 July 2008

Annual G8 waffle

The G8 has (possibly) reached its high point, as the summit leaders announced their committment to cutting carbon emissions in half by 2050.

Planet will probably be completely fucked by then, by hey, its the thought that counts.

It is encouraging to see a board meeting that has George W. Bush sitting in, has decided to take some action to tackle climate change.

Described as one of the "stickiest issues" on the discussion board, global warming has become synonmous with a global slowdown for many.

Well, yes, we are going to have to slowdown if we want to save the planet. But that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing.

How many times have you heard someone/yourself moan about the pace of life? Always working, never having the time to cook properly or spend time with the family.

Well here's your chance. Save the planet and save yourself. Couldn't be simpler.

Of course no real effective action can be taken until large, powerful groups like the G8 put pressure on multinational conglomorates and coorporations to cut expenditure down.

The individual has done enough. It is time for the masses to do more.

That was far too serious. Here's a link to something really funny that bares no relevance what so ever to the above.


A fitting tribute to George W. Bush

San Francisco wants to name a sewage plant after George W. Bush when his presidency ends.

The 12,000 signatures strong petition was brought by the Presidential Memorial Committee of San Francisco to the city's Department of Elections.

The group wanted the idea voted on in November and most Draconians, sorry, Republicans, are already trying to block the idea.

Branded unpatriotic by some and plain wacky by Calfornia's Repbulican party spokesman, the sewage plant plans face a tough fight.

This idea is not wacky or unpatriotic. It's ballsy, ironic, symbolic and downright brilliant.

San Francisco, known for its tolerant outlook and large LGBT community, has borne the brunt of George W. Bush's attempts to take America back to the dark ages.

See also: the right to marriage for the LGBT community.

George W. Bush deserves this kind of memorial. Along with an AA centre and a mosque named after him, this couldn't have turned out better.

Truely, this is the land of the free and home of the brave.

Monday, 7 July 2008

Gordon Brown states the obvious.

While Parliament is in recess we are left to suffer slow news days.

Gordon Brown, speaking at the G8, has urged British citizens to stop wasting food.

Lets look at the maths:

Credit crunch + world war 2 mentality inherrent in most English = home made compost and vinegar cake.

It is estimated that we throw away 1/3rd of the food we buy in the UK.

Bravo, Mr Brown, you stated the fucking obvious.

Why doesn't he force supermarkets to be more ethically supportive of the consumer? He could put pressure on them to stick to local, seasonal produce.

Then he could give out free compost bins.

In fact, why aren't WRAP working on this more?

If, like this blog, you carefully recycle as much as you can, and are permantly broke so have to resort to buying food from the reduced (i.e about to go off section) then you will understand how much pressure is put on the individual in the west.

When really, the individual can make no real impact without the focused efforts of large scale corporations, like supermarkets.

We'll stop wasting food when supermarkets become more environmentally friendly.

Friday, 4 July 2008

Cash for honours calls for common sense

In a rare move, an MP has publically displayed common sense.

Common sense, last seen on London mayoral candidate Brian Paddick, was surprised to make two appearances in one year in politics.

Sorry, we're just fucking with you.

Lib Dem MP Nick Harvey announced that the Houses move to reject fresh guidelines over expenses would make it "very hard" to restore public confidence in the House of Commons.

Its not entirely their fault. Blair's neutering of the parliamentary system left teh British public with very little confidence in, well, democracy.

There was a brief flirtation with the ancient Greek concept again when Brown assumed power, but his bungling of well, everything, after that meant we, the public, lost interest.

Now with expense scandal after expense scandal, we just don't care anymore.

The smoking ban proved there was one rule for us and another for them. Why would their expenses be any different?

Hissy fits have been thrown over second homes not being up to a John Lewis standard. Well, you can have your shagging expense account.

Its not going to change the fact that there's a general election in 2 years time in which we can kick you all out, is there?


Thursday, 3 July 2008

Facebook and myspace a menace to society

Dr Himsnshu Tyagi, founder of postgraduate "online community" has hit out at social networking sites, claiming they give young people (teenagers to you and me) a "reduced sensory experience".

He also blaimed them for the Bridgend suicides.

It is unkown whether Mr Tyagi has a Facebook or Myspace account, or if he's even visted the sites.

He did state that psychiatrists were unequipped to deal with the mental health of those born after 1990, who cannot remember a time without the internet.

Yeah, them and everybody else. The joy of being under 30 in the age of the credit crunch, sky high oil prices, the war against terror and an imminent global warming sponsored catrosphe is that you can understand the internet.

Try it on your over 30 boss some time. Watch the beads of sweat cascade down his forhead as you start talking about the joys of social networking, e-petitions, website design and even blogging.

Deep down he knows that unless he can get his head round it he can kiss his career goodbye.

What Dr Tyagi failed to understand in his indepth study of the internet is that social networking sites allow the user some control over their identity.

Etiquette, manners and social standings that plauge users by the day don't exist on facebook.

For example, that skinny bitch who dressed like she read too Elle magazine at school wants to be your friend. Find her inspid and boring? Hey, just decline her friend request.

There's no mess, no conflict and no need to justify yourself to her.

While Dr Tyagi may worry that users will miss out on vital lessons in how to stand up for themselves, don't worry, you probably will have had to stand up to her on a daily basis at school.

Social networking sites do not exist outside of reality, they go along with it.

Facebook is really a giant address book so all thos aquaintences you met at uni you can still have the occasional chat with, even if you didn't get to know them that well at the time.

And who ahsn't rejoiced when, pissed, your mobile's gone missing. Huzzah! All your friends in one, easily contactable place.

Dr Tyagi was quick to say "no one is a pariah on the net. It's great at flattenting social heirarchies."

Yes, the exact hierarchies most teenagers need a break from.

This blog is still tryin to repress most teenage memories, but what it does remember is this:

A general understanding of who you are met with a massive misunderstanding and heavily judgemental look from the peer group.

Instead of wailing about the dangers of the net (parental control is there for a reason) the older generation should try embracing it for themselves.

An ocean of corruption

Gorden Brown (who else?) has been accused of offering incentives to push his 42 day extension terror bill through the commons.

Clearly its a slow news day and this fits nicely with the trend of curruption in the commons news stories we've been hit with recently.

This story all boils down to an MP who repeadtly proved himself a canker on New Labour's withered body.

Yep, that guy. Also known as MP Keith Vaz.

Currently leading an admirable campaign to cut down the number of CCTV cameras used in the UK (estimated at 5 million) he appeared to be moving away from his dodgy fucker tag.

The case against Keith Vaz
Exhibit A: The Filkin inquiry.

Recommended suspension from the house for 1 month after being found guilty of "contempt of the house". He was cleared of 8 out of 28 "charges" of financial wrongdoings, including accepting donations from professionals who were later recommended for peerages.

Exhibit B: accepting donations from the Hinduja brothers.

Well, not actually them, their "charitable foundation". Why doesn't this charitable foundation have a name? Anwyay, a 1 month suspension from the commons was recommended.

Exhibit C: U Turn on 42 day vote.

Originally against it, as you would expect from someone campaiging against the use of CCTV. Until the Daily Torygraph, sorry, Telegraph, was handed a hand written letter suggesting that MP Vaz would recieve a reward for voting in favour of it.

Oh dear. This really is dodgier than del boy, isn't it?

Of course everyone is innocent until proven guilty (Hi John Lesley!)Unless you're a despearte politician trying to further your own career and push civil liberties to the forfront of the public consciousness.

Sorry, were we talking about Keith Vaz or Gorden Brown?

Anyway, for anyone who is surprised that this sort of things goes on in the commons, insert cynical cackle here.

Are you kidding? In the world of Machiavelli, Palmerston and Keith Vaz you think moral fibre exists? Pah!

The only thing this blog will promise about politics is that the ending of the next entry will be less smug.

Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Nelson Mandela's off the list

Nelson Mandela has been taken off the US list of terrorists. No, really, it took them this long.

The list, which includes such alumni as Osama Bin Landen, quadroupled in size after 2003 (This blog wonders why? Could it be that in 2003 the fruits of intelligence labour set up post 9/11 ripened?) and contains very few American names.


Nelson Mandela, the man who spent 27 years in jail for trying to peacefully bring down aparthied (bet Ghandi never had to put up with that) won the 1993 nobel peace prize, and retired from office in 1999 (yes, almost a decade ago) has only now been declared safe to go to Washington.

Someone actually gets paid to comply this list, yet cannot bring themselves to watch the news.

Mr Mandela spent his 90th birthday saying goodbye to friends, statesmen and celebrities, yet still managed to leave us with one important message.

One man's terrorist is another's freedom fighter.

Traffic choas part 2

A Palestinian has slammed a bulldozer into a bus in Jerusalem, killing two people. He was then shot dead by Isreali police.

Despite the similiarites in title, these are in fact very different news stories with a completely different spin.

Call us crazy, but this blog decided to rain the funny/wit/venom in a little for this one.

Attacks by Palestinian militants have been rare in Jerusalem, what with the cities spiritual significance.

Palestinians are facing a water crisis in the West bank, which has helped tensions in the region to mount.

The water crisis has been brewing for some time.

Isreal has had control over Palestinian water resources and if there's way to piss a peoples off, its to deny them the very source of life and sanatation.

Traffic choas imminent

Hundreds of pissed off lorry drivers are descending on London to protest against a rise in fuel tax.

Pissed off behind tonnes of reinforced steel, the protest will ensure no one is getting on the A40.

If only all those cycle protesters could muster together this kind of blockade! Granted, it would take the entire student population to cycle together to close one slip road, but its a start.

But I digress....

The demonstration is in response to the highest fuel tax on record. Lorry drivers will parade past the Houses of Commons, despite that stupid law that says you can't have a noisy protest within a half mile radius of it.

That's right, all those truckers driving past Parliament and they're not allowed to honk their horns.

This blog would love to be there to see it! (We're on work experience at Independent at the moment. Well, answering phones, but apparently they're synonomous.) That horn will look like a big red button just aching to be touched.

All it will take is one lorry driver to give it the slip, and then WHAM! They'll all be off!

This blog would worry about the presence of hundreds of pollutant lorries in the capital, but it will probably make the smog more centralised.

Maybe the government should start looking at individual cases instead of slapping a one rule for them all tax.

Individualism always was a tad tricky for Labour governments to grasp.

If Alistar's Darling could only get greyer with worry....but it can't.

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Mugbabe moans

An aide of Robert Mugabe has stuck his two fingers worth (sorry) up at the West telling reporters critics of the 'president' could "go hang a thousand times".

You would say the same if the geriatric dictator had bought you a mansion as well.

In Mugabe land (not to be confused with Zumbabwe. We're talking about his head here) the opposition didn't withdraw because of concerns about violence, they boycotted.

When asked if Zimbabwe should follow Kenya and create a government of national unity,the aide responded, "Kenya is Kenya. Zimbabwe is Zimbabwe."

Well don't hold back love, you already let it out at the west. Why are you being coy now? It isn't like you might think they have a point.

If the AU had the balls to tell Mugabe where to stick it, like Nelson Mandela did on his 90th birthday, then maybe a few lives could be saved.

In other creepy Mugabe news; the most outspoken of Mugabe's critics, Zambien president Levy Mwanawasa suffered a stroke.

So now not even an African can bollock Mugabe. Not that he'd listen anyway.

Fuel tax fuck up

Alistar Darling is facing another revolt over fuel tax, this time from members of the cabinet.

This blog assumes it is in light to public pressure - lorry drivers refusing to work, gas pipes being switched off etc - and not more conflicts on how to suitably green in the 21st century.

But surprise, surprise how the steryotypes survive. The cabinet minister behind the complaint is - the business secretary John Hutton.

While the impending tax certianly screws the smaller businessman, can it really have that much of an impact on big buisness?

Survey says: no.

It may consitute an annoying pain in the foot, which when looked at, will let bigger buisness know its time to go out and do something about the whole problem of killing the planet.