Wednesday, 31 October 2007

Don't get used to this tone

I wrote yesterday that the UK is out of ideas.

And yes, we are, but we do have some really, really good old ideas. And they don't need repackaging to bring them up to the modern age.

Recently there have been mutterings about lowering the time limit on abortion.

The argument tends to go along something like this.....yadadada we're not sure about how much the foetus can feel......yadadada some baby somewhere survived from 24 weeks.......yadadada we want to be inlign with the rest of Europe.

I might add that most of the people who want the time limit lowered are the ones that usually don't want to be anything like the rest of Europe.

They were just nicking the rhetoric used by Pro-Europe (an odd tactic from Tory MPs) to try and pursuade those in the middle.

I might also add, we wouldn't be moving closer to Europe, we'd be moving closer to some states in America. Specifically the ones that have outlawed abortions, even in cases of rape.

As for the newborn that survived at 24/22/whatever weeks, well great for them and pre-mature babies everywhere, but what on earth that has to do with a woman's right to control her own body I'll never know.

And if they're so concerned about foetus in the modern age why not put money into more effective abortion research/treatment instead of trying to turn the clock back to 1901?

If you think a legal abortion at 24 weeks is bad wait til you see a back street abortion at 24 weeks.

But lets look at the happy....the powers that be are recommending that the process be made quicker! Hurrah!

Someone wants to improve women's rights! Who knows, maybe we can finally close that pay gap as well.

The truth is you can argue foetus rights until you give birth to one, but no one has any right what to tell me to do with my womb aside from me.

But don't get used to the happy sense of victory in my tone. Tomorrow I will probably be heartbroken/enraged/full of condescending sarcasm when another liberal democracy is compromised.

Tuesday, 30 October 2007

Total rubbish (sorry)

If you ever need to see a country out of ideas, just look at the UK.

Councils have been given the go-ahead to start charging for rubbish collecting.

Yes that's right, because are landfills are filling up fast, the individual is going to be charged for the "privilege" of dumping rubbish.

I don't think I've met anyone who doesn't have a concern for the environment and tries to do something about it.

For example, who hasn't experienced the following:

1.) Carefully sorting recycling only to find that most of it has been left on their front door on the day of collection.

2.) Re-using a plastic bag only to find that the bottom completely falls out halfway home.

3.) Being repeadtly judged and frowned upon by varying shoppers and members of staff when re-using a plastic bag.

4.) Getting home from the supermarket and finding that there's a massive amount of pretty packaging that was absolutly fucking pointless.

And then the viscious cycle starts agains.

Why can't councils and governments see fit to charge supermarkets and companies for the amoung packaging used?

It would save the companies money and we could save the planet at the same time. Two birds, one stone.

Monday, 29 October 2007

A royal waste of time

There's something rotten in the state of England.

The press can't gain access to varying areas of government. Most notably, the palace.

I'm inclined to agree with the palace, that shock! horror! rich person does cocaine! is nothing new, and therefore, not really in the publics interest.

But that's not the real reason they went all totalitarian on the press.

They probably just couldn't handle another scandle. Remember squidgygate?

And yes, Britian really doesn't need reminding of THAT tampax incident, but what we do need is a system of open government.

We don't have seperation of powers and voting system is barely democratic.

So is it any wonder that the press is "feral" in the UK?

All the press really does is scrutinise the decision making process when the rest of us can't.

The reality of most the democratic decifits in the is UK very, very depressing.

So occassionally we need stories involving the people in charge making total twats of themselves.

Watching the news I realised that they can normally do this without the help of drugs or royal aids. Cocaine and human rights abuses.....makes the royal scandals of the 90s seem like nothing.

Saturday, 27 October 2007

T.W.A.T strikes again

Another similarity between gulf war 1 and gulf war 2 has surfaced.

Soliders, the winner of 2007s most screwed over worker prize, have been told that they may have brain damage from fighting in Iraq or Afghanistahn.

I bet they must be so pleased.

The Ministry of Defence will be sending around a glossy questionaire for them to fill out.

That's half-arsed psychiatric evaluation to you and me.

Should you successfully complete questionaire, a man in a grey coat will turn up at your door and remind you why you can't sue.

Symptoms include memory loss, anxiety and depression. In 90% of cases they disappear within three months.

I'm sure that the lucky 10% of you suffering from permanent shell shock, I'm sorry, "mild brain damage", there will be a consolation of prize.

You can enjoy full in house care at a top (secret) phsyility somewhere.

Cheer up, most soldiers who return home with missing limbs don't get this kind of treatment.

Thursday, 25 October 2007

Brown prinicples

Brown's proposing constitutional reform today.
It would be nice to see England go from an elective dictatorship to an actual, full time, democracy.

I wonder if he'll include an amdenment on elections?

You know, about when you can have them, how many people donate money for elections or peerages, how many times you can spread rumours about fake ones, that sort of thing.

Funny that the first constitutional reform he proposed as PM was to transfer powers of royal perogative to the house of commons from the Prime Minister.

I wonder if that was inspired by Blairs unhinged meglomania?

Also, he wants to give the house more say in ratifying international treaties.

Lets just hope he can get that EU constitution through before he gives more power to his current economic thinktank, the Tory party.

All the reforms proposed are designed to take give the legislative greater ability to scrutinise the executive.

Mr Brown could always allow the electorate to scrutinise him directly, in an election.

On second thoughts no. We'd probably get stuck with that smug git from Notting Hill.

Wednesday, 24 October 2007

Population increase needs more prison space

Two prisions are being used solely for deportees.

The U.K is a naturally compassionate country so of course the standards of prison care was the first subject discussed.

I'm sorry, I appear to have blacked out.

Along with a half arsed report on population increase (the figures were based on current trends, not fact) it appears that we are in the age of PC racism.

Who hasn't heard a story about immigration on the news that began with the line "they're really good for the local economy but...."

So we're happy to have Polish migrants over here if they do a low paid job well, pay taxes and then fuck off home.

Should they do anything that might require an asbo then they'll be shipped into a special prison where, if they're really lucky, they'll have an in house translator.

And we're moaning that it might cost too much?

And that, God forbid, there won't be enough space to bang up our own, pure bred, British prisoners.

Just a thought, but this level of "special" prison overcrowding is bound to happen when you suspend heabus corpus in the name of T.W.A.T.

Tuesday, 23 October 2007

Migrant matters

The population is due to rise by 10 million in 20 years. Apparently.

Of course when this information was released a small collection of vampires at Tory central broke out of their coffins and began wispering in the ears of those in shadow about how this is now the perfect time to tighten immigration.

Yes, because a massive detention centre outside Gatwick isn't tight enough.

And let's not forget those occassional cripillings given to deportees when they refuse to go back to their war torn/economic cesspit of a country.

I was under the impression that an ageing population spelled doom and gloom for anyone under the age of 30.

Surely we could do with a population increase.

We could certainly do with more younger tax payers.

Wait a minute, isn't that what migrants do anyway?

Monday, 22 October 2007

International news and democracy

The two main parties in the UK are busy battling it out to see who can be more Thatcherite than the other.

So we are left to look to the international stage for inspiration.

Satire isn't cheap or easy, you know.

Pakistahn seems to be fighting for some kind of liberalism, or democracy, or maybe just a liberal democracy.

Pity we didn't see fit to intervene there instead of Iraq.

I am left wondering what the hell Benazir Bhutto really stands.

Is she guilty of corruption? Does she really want to help Pakistahn become a democracy? And is there really a conspiracy against her?

In short, is she back in Pakistahn for her personal gain or the gain of the people?

We're not going to find out now. I don't know if anyone can really make up their mind about whether she is performing for the cameras or not.

On a lighter note, anyone seen the Kaczynski twins election results?

My God, I thought Halloween had come early when I saw pictures of those two.

Saturday, 20 October 2007

It's all the same

The Lib Dem leadership race is starting to, well, tepid up with two identical grey suits fighting it out.

Can anyone spot the difference between these two? One's got five kids, the other two.

That appears to be about it.

They both went to Westminster, they both want a fresher, younger approach towards leading the party, and they both want to join Brown and Cameron to see who can appeal to middle England more.

Tough job, seeing as how both Brown and Cameron are in the middle right trying to appeal to middle England.

So we can have the choice to move to the middle left? Oh how fantastically bland!

Almost makes me pine for the days of political dogma.

Thursday, 18 October 2007

Mark Thomspon has re-affirmed his status as a warmongering giant and broadcasts most hated man.

Scared senseless by technology he decided to cut 1,800 jobs at the BBC, mostly in news.

In the age T.W.A.T or (The War Against Terror), Climate Change (Global Warming), and an imminent housing "crash" (hurrah! I might be able to afford one!) surely we're going to need as much news as we can get.

You remember the news don't you, Mr. Thompson? It's that thing full of facts that Natasha Kiplinsky used to present before she moved to channel 5.

Apparently the new world of merged technologies that the BBC are so desperatly trying to get their head round, involves selling historic buildings and no ability to see into governing bodies.

When Mr. Thompson decides to credit Orwell's 1984 for his "vision" for the BBC I'll let you know.

Wednesday, 17 October 2007

Scramble for minerals

So I see we are to start scrambling for resources underneath Antartica. There had to be a silver lining to an environmental apoclaypse, didn't there? Polar ice caps melt but low and behold underneath them are enough resources for the human race to pollute out until we suffocate ourselves!

There's something so disgustingly neo-colonialist about this. It's like scramble for Africa all over again. Worming our way around inernational treaty designed to prevent scramble for resources? Check. Tensions building with another superpower? Check. Little known about impact on surrounding habitat, but screw it, we'll go ahead anyway? Check.

Does no one see fit to take the money we use to pursue oil and put it into renewable energy sources? You know, those ones that don't make the planet uninhabitible for everyone apart from cockroaches.

I suppose I'll just have to hope that the Labour party will see fit to steal the Tory's envrionmental policy and maybe we might not be doomed. And it really pains me to say that.

On a closing note I see that Sir Menzies Campbell is blaming ageism in the media for his departure. Just a thought Ming, but if you're in power for nineteen months and the British media only has one joke about you, it's because you're intensley dull.

The British media loves old people. Just look at Murdoch. He's a dinosaur and masses of media love him!

Tuesday, 16 October 2007

Ming the pointless shown no mercy

Sir Menzies Campbell, that non discript vacuum inbetween a raging Scottish alcoholic and the next one, has bowed out as leader of the Liberal Democrat Party. Really, I'm surprised that anyone noticed, let alone that it made headline news.
There were rumours at the party conference of disgruntled minions who didn't want him in charge anymore. That's hardly a new development in modern politics. Cameron's survived so many MPs jumping to Kilroy Silks satan sponsored UKIP party and look where he is now. Besides, filitering out the racists is hardly going to be a bad thing for a reforming Tory party. Ming however had to jump at the first public sign of trouble.
Which doesn't really leave us with much. We could have that one that dumped the nice weather girl for the Cheeky Girl (dear God why?) or the gay married one with a penchant for rent boys. That really is all the Liberal Democrat party has to catch the eye of the public at the moment. Despite a glitering environmental policy full of common sense the only thing that will be remembered about Sir Menzies reign is the embarassing sexploits of his hard working MPs.